


One More Thing

by AngstyHxcker



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bisexual Yasmin Khan, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Everyone Needs A Hug, Extended Scene, Hurt/Comfort, Post Episode: Revolution of the Daleks, Soft Thirteenth Doctor, Soft Thirteenth Doctor/Yasmin Khan, They do have feelings for each other but now isn't the right time cause they're both sad, implied suicidal ideation, mentions of depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-12 22:20:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28642845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngstyHxcker/pseuds/AngstyHxcker
Summary: Inspired by the episode Revolution of the Daleks.After Ryan and the Doctor talk about how the Doctor is feeling about herself, Ryan lets the Doctor know how Yaz has been coping the last ten months.And then the Doctor does her best to make up for lost time.
Relationships: The Doctor & Yasmin Khan, Thirteenth Doctor & Ryan Sinclair, Thirteenth Doctor & Yasmin Khan, Thirteenth Doctor/Yasmin Khan
Comments: 1
Kudos: 49





	1. Chapter 1

_"Things change all the time. And they should. Cause they have to. Same with people. Sometimes we get a bit scared cause new can be a bit scary, right?" Ryan asked softly._

_"New can be very scary." The Doctor agreed. After all of her lives, the lives she remembered at least, new was... new. She wasn't used to new. She was used to knowing everything. New was new. And it was terrifying._

_"Yeah. So when we're done with this Dalek problem, you find out about your own life. Confront the new or the old. And then everything will be alright." Ryan assured her._

_"Will it?" The Doctor had never been less certain of anything in her life._

_"No doubt!" Ryan smiled._

_"Thank you, Ryan. For being my friend." The Doctor said thoughtfully, feeling more like herself (whatever that meant) after their talk._

_"Thank you for being mine." Ryan meant it._   
  
_"Always."_

Ryan smiled, but his smile faded into a pause. "One more thing..."

"Yeah, what is it?" The Doctor asked coming back to her old curiosity and intrigue.

"I know you've been through a lot, and it's gonna take you a while to work through that. And I don't mean to make it sound like... Like that's not important or something..." Ryan hesitated.

"Go on, Ryan." The Doctor prompted, impatient, but also terrified of what he was going to say next.

"Doctor, it's Yaz..." The Doctor nodded sadly. She could tell. Ever since showing up in Graham's living room, Yaz was ignoring her at the best of times. "It... it hit her really hard. It's probably not my place to tell you all of this, but Doc... I'm worried about her." The Doctor simply nodded again, at a loss of words. Was that who she really was? All these lives she thought she had been someone bubbling with words and ideas. But maybe she wasn't. Because right now, her mind was running, cataloging thousands of possibilities for every way Yasmin Khan felt pain over the last ten months. But words? She had no words for that. The only way she had made it through all that time, thinking she'd never see the fam again was believing that she had at least granted them the ability to live great, happy, healthy lives.

"She spent all of her time looking for anything and everything she could find about where you could be. I'm actually curious if she was anywhere close." Ryan smiled sadly. "She stopped going home. She stayed in that TARDIS you sent us back in, slept on the floor. Eventually, she stopped going to work, lost her job. Don't know how much she talks to her family any more, if at all. Don't think she ate much. Graham and I tried to get her to come round for meals, but she was pretty uninterested unless we talked about you... I'm sorry to say it Doc, but Graham and I... we didn't think we'd ever see you again. But Yaz... I'm just so glad it was only ten months... Every time she called me in the middle of the night because she had a new theory or thought she found a new clue, my heart stopped. Because every time I thought somehow she'd found out you were dead... and it was over. And I didn't... I don't... It scares me to think about what she would've done...." The Doctor blinked back her tears as hard as she could.

"Like I said, I know you have your own stuff right now. And that's important. You need to sort that out for yourself. But when you can, once we've dealt with the Daleks and everything... Yaz could really use a trip or two. Just the two of you." Ryan suggested and the Doctor nodded instantly.

"Thank you for telling me, Ryan." Her words felt half stuck in her throat. "I never meant to hurt any of you..."

"I know, Doctor. And so does Yaz. It's just... it's been a lot for her to take in. Going from feeling that... hopeless... to having you back." The Doctor nodded. Emotions had never been her strong suit, not in any body. But she actually understood now. She'd just spent decades with her own emotions. It wasn't hard to relate in some way to what Yaz was feeling.

The Doctor, still feeling very un-Doctor-like sat still on the steps, reflecting on their conversations. She was surprised when Ryan jumped to his feet. "Alright, Doc. Let's go do what you do best and save the day!" He beamed extending his hand to her. The Doctor took his hand, smiling the truest smile she had in decades.

"Let's go." She agreed, slowly settling back into her old stride across the TARDIS..


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Lightly implied past suicidal ideation.

"Alright Yaz!" The Doctor grinned, standing at the console. "Just you and I... and the whole universe! Where to?"

Yaz had been staring at her feet most of her time in the TARDIS. When they were fighting the Daleks and their other friends were around, she didn't have to confront all the things she was feeling now. She was happy to be back, but at the same time, the wounds from the last ten months still hadn't healed into scars. Every time the Doctor did something that felt like old times, it put pressure on one of the wounds. Yaz just shrugged in response.

"Really?" The Doctor asked, still keeping a playful tone. "I'd have thought by now you'd have a list of places you were dying to go."

Something in Yaz's face changed. The Doctor realized she must have thought about it, imagined, dreamed.

"Actually, I know just the spot!" The Doctor proclaimed. But instead of flipping dials and switches, she took Yaz by the hand and led her over to the steps and sat down. "Right here!"

Yaz looked at her skeptically, still standing before her. The Doctor patted one of the steps beside her. "Come on! No fun without you!" 

Hesitantly, Yaz sighed and sat down. "Doctor... What..."

"I'm sorry, Yaz." The Doctor's tone changed from her 'usual' bright self to something more honest. "I know we both know I didn't mean to hurt you, but I did. And I am truly sorry."

"It's not that... It's just..." Yaz began, uncertainly. "You know what, forget it." She began to stand and the Doctor caught her hand.

"Yaz wait." Brown eyes met hazel. "If it's not that, tell me what it is."

Yaz sighed and sat down. "I... You know I've struggled... before I met you... with not wanting to be... _here._ " The Doctor nodded, understanding the weight of the word _here._ "And then I met you... And it didn't matter what anyone else had ever said to me. Because the best person in the entire universe... cared. And that canceled out every negative thing anyone else could say and every dark, hateful thing I could think. The adventure and sights were great too. But it was you. The way I feel when I'm with you... Safe, even when we're running for our lives, capable, part of something, alive. And then you were gone. And so was all of that. In its place, every bad thought came back. Every time I tried to sleep, my brain just showed me every memory where I wasn't enough. And I was worried about you... so worried." A tear rolled down Yaz's cheek.

"Yasmin Khan, you are and will always be important. You can't have the universe without Yaz." The Doctor smiled sadly, reaching up to brush away her tear. "Everything you are, all the good, all the smart, all the brave. That is who you are with or without me." She assured her. "But I am back now. And I will remind you every day of what makes you Yaz."

"For how long?" Yaz asked bluntly. "I had time to think about it. I knew we weren't the first but... How long before you really do leave forever. Before you just drop me off and don't want me anymore?" That was the breaking point, the key piece that all of Yaz's pain and fear branched off of. "Or what if you change again and that version of you hates me?" 

The Doctor took both of Yaz's hands in her own. "Yaz, I want you to look me straight in the eyes." Yaz nodded, tears still falling. "You're right. I have traveled with other people before. And we've gone apart. But every time that we really cared for each other, every time it was more than a few casual trips, it hurt like hell for me too. Either they choose to leave, like Ryan and Graham because they want to get on with their own lives, and I respect that. Or something happens... And I've lost them forever."

The Doctor almost got distracted by her own pain. If she had lived more lives than she thought, how many more people had she lost? She shook the thought from her mind and kept her attention on Yaz. 

"I've made friends as so many different versions of myself and I still love them all the same. Not a day goes by I don't think about each and every one of them. But especially you... When I was gone, I thought about you constantly, Yaz. I'd live in my mind imagining where we'd go and what we'd do. I don't know if you made a list, but I certainly did." The Doctor smiled sadly. "In my mind, I never stopped traveling with you." She gave the other woman's hands a gentle squeeze.

"You can travel with me for as long as you want, whatever that means. And if it does ever end, really end, I will say goodbye to you Yasmin Khan, but that is something I never want to do." 

Yaz nodded and the Doctor pulled her in for a hug. Ten months of emotion poured out of Yaz and the Doctor was right there until there wasn't a drop left. 

Sometime later, still sat on the steps, sheltered by the Doctor's embrace, Yaz pulled back slightly. "Doctor?" She asked in a meek voice.

"Yes Yaz?" 

"I want to help you find who you are the way you helped me." She smiled sadly.

"Thank you Yaz." The Doctor smiled back. "That means a lot."


End file.
